And Learning to Not Think About It
As I have mentioned before, I am a planner, I always have been. I plan dinners, errand runs, vacation itineraries, house projects, chores, outfits... you name it, I plan it. I think that’s why graphic design was such a great career choice for me. I was always creative and the structured rules of graphic design suited me perfectly. I had grids to follow, color harmonies to make work, typography do’s and don’ts to abide by, etc. A match made in heaven for a while. There was no such thing as a happy accident for me. Some graphic designers can create very freely and intuitively, not me, possibly in the early stages of logo design, but not really anywhere else. Everything had to be perfectly aligned and have a place on the grid. I would overthink everything I worked on, and when I thought I was done with a design, I would start overthinking all over again. My brain just works that way and it has been very hard to switch gears. I am still a work in progress. Since I started creating fine art, I have struggled. Fine art for me means process over product, playing and experimenting. A lot of times I start thinking about what I am creating, what it will look like and how it will be used before I even begin. I took a painting class many years ago and that was the first time I totally let the colors and brush strokes move me. It was exhilarating and freeing, but not easy. I was the only one in class who didn’t use a still life set up, I just painted and it opened my mind up to organic creativity. I have slowly let go more and more over the last few years. I sit now with my watercolors or markers and just paint or draw. I don’t think about what it will be as much, I just do it. The whole process is a happy accident in a way and I am usually happy with the end result because there was nothing preconceived. I use it as a meditation, and I still struggle a bit with completely letting go, but that’s OK. I am an artist and I am a designer, I am a combination of the two. I am Yin and I am Yang. There are times my creative counterparts will fight each other and times they will compliment each other. Either way, I will always create.